SECRET PLACE

Emmanuel.



耶稣啊,我很苦啊!我知道你就坐在我的身边。我看不到你,摸不到你,听不到你。但是我能感受到你。你在陪我哭吗?阿爸,给我一个拥抱。我实在受不了,我内心伤到不行了。我真的只有你罢了,只有你最明白我内心深处。我还要更多爱,谢谢你,再给我多点。阿爸。。呜呜。。阿爸。。阿爸。。我能感受到此刻你在拥抱我。

Dear Jesus, I m so suffer now! I know You are just beside me, though I can’t see You, I can’t touch You, I can’t You, but I can feel Your presence. Are You accompany me crying? Ah Ba gives me a hug. I really can’t bear anymore, I m so hurt. You are the only thing I left; You know what is happening deep in my heart. Thank You I need more love Ah Ba.. Give me more…. Ah Ba…. Sob sob… Ah Ba…. Ah.. Ba… I can feel that You are hugging me right now.

其实最近神都不断在我心中说话,都是同一个信息,因为最近生病了,吃药的缘故,所以无法写部落格。那我就直接进到我要说的主题。

有一天,当伟懿姐辅导我的当儿,这时他的小女儿进来。女儿手里拿着两张参加儿童营会的表格。
女儿:妈妈!妈妈!请你帮我和哥哥签名。
伟懿姐:这是什么?
女儿:这是儿童营的报名表格,一张是哥哥的,这张是我的。
伟懿姐:为什么哥哥不自己拿上来?
女儿:哦,哥哥在教人打鼓。妈妈!老师讲哦,我们可以不用付钱。
伟懿姐:为什么可以不用付钱?你有问主日学老师吗?
女儿:没有喔~
伟懿姐:那你要问老师为什么可以给你免费参加。你问了不用告诉妈妈。待会儿妈妈会问你的。
女儿:哦。

伟懿姐此举动,让我知道,她其实要她的女儿明白一样功课,就是不要宠坏她,不要让她有错误的观念,认为牧师的女儿就可以理所当然的得到免费参加营会,她要女儿学习到,感恩珍惜的功课,要她谢谢老师。

想起当初还没来到吉隆坡的日子,因为来自破碎家庭,时常在外头找节目,宁愿选择留在外头,到深夜才回来,对家里的一切的事,一概不闻不问。不只这样,时常都在教会领袖朋友的面前,抱怨我的父母亲,说他们的不好。我从来就不懂得感恩。时常是个好吃懒做的人。衣服,杯子,穿了,用了就乱丢。妈妈一直念,我也很不客气地说你很烦叻!一直到大学,还是很少回家,直到最近回去,说到这里,我很亏欠父母,特别是妈妈,她真的老了,大部分时间,她都是在忙,忙学校的工作,回到家忙着要照顾我。当然我尽量的帮她完成学校的工作。她从爸那里的不到爱,再加上孩子都在外坡念书,她时常都是一个人在家的。自己一个人忙。爸爸也是一样很寂寞,在外头忙,他也很少回家,因为家里给他很大的压力。我做儿子的,其实很没用,除了聊天,帮他们做些事,也没有办法了。我只能在祷告上纪念他们。希望他们能够和好。我说这些是因为神开我那沉睡的眼睛,看见爸爸妈妈的付出,即使他们很艰辛仍然付出,供我念书。
我不能再抱着理所当然的态度了,因为他们老了,我应该多疼爱他们,多和他们说话关心他们。
圣经里的理所当然:
以弗所书6:1你们做儿女的,要在主里听从父母,这是理所当然的。

最近教会提到民数记,充满了以色列人埋怨的声音。抵挡领袖。不合一的故事。伯寿牧师也提到了用神的眼光看待事情。以色列人为什么埋怨,不懂得感恩,我想就是抱着理所当然的心态。觉得所有的一切,包括神带领他们出埃及都是理所当然,给他们食物吃是理所当然的,不懂得感恩,开始埋怨,责怪,批评,反叛,不合一。

很多时候基督徒,包括我,抱着理所当然的心态,觉得别人对你的关心是理所当然,觉得能够服事神是理所当然,觉得别人为我安排交通是理所当然,觉得有机会上圣经班是理所当然,更可怕觉得神爱你是理所当然,神赦免我们的罪是理所当然。领袖主动邀请我,辅导我,关心我也是理所当然的吗?有些人收到了组长的短讯,可以做到置之不理。难道来了,领袖有从你身上得到益处吗?
我们知道耶稣被钉在十字架的过程吗?我们知道他所承受的痛吗?但是最痛的应该是,我选择了‘理所当然’的态度来回应他给我们的爱。当我听着‘神羔羊’的这首歌时,浮现耶稣被钉在十字架的过程,我哭了,因为我觉得我不够爱神,仍然抱着理所当然的态度。求主赦免我。当耶稣被辱骂时,被鞭打,他仍然求天父饶恕我们。
圣经里的理所当然:
罗马书12:1所以弟兄们,我以神的慈悲劝你们,将身体献上,当作活祭,是圣洁的,是神所喜悦的。你们如此事奉,乃是理所当然的。




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Finally, I manage to come back Melaka, my hometown. In this place, I have two homes, other than my real home; the next will be Gateway Christian Fellowship (Chinese). I grew up here; I miss the time where we organized camp together, yum cha together, fellowship together with my youth brother and sister in Melaka. Pastor Daniel, he is the one that taught me guitar, and guide me when I facing trouble especially family problem. Jay always invited us to go yum cha, and yet his sharing with us during that time, he knows a lot of Christianity things. Swee Hong sister, she like my spiritual mom, during my age, she was in charge in youth ministry, so I was one of her children, undeniable she really feed me with spiritual knowledge abundantly, at the same time she also guide me in certain aspect. Anyway, most of her children, study in outstation or overseas. Until I decided to go kl for study, then I knew another bunch of friends in FGA CYC. Most of the people in tertiary group, are from different background, some of them local people, and some outstation. No matter which background we came from, but we have the same vision and mission, we fight in spiritual together, we grab souls for GOD, fasting prayer and we follow up new believer. Our main motor is to enlarge the GOD’S kingdom. Same concept apply to different churches, we are parts of the body of Christ. Each of us plays a unique role in HIS kingdom. We are one in GOD’S eyes, and I believe that our journey just begins.
1 Corinthians 12:12 The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.
感谢神,我终于能够抽空回家乡,马六甲。在这里,我有两间家,一个是自己的家,另一间是城门基督教会华文堂。我在这里长大,想念在这里的时光,包括和这里的弟兄姐妹筹备营会,一起团契,一起用餐。现介绍几个重要人物,添容牧师,他就是我的吉他师父,当然他从来不抱着牧师的身份和我说话,他时常就像是属灵父亲,劝我教导我,特别是在家庭的问题。我属灵哥哥,Jay 他时常约我们出来喝茶,同时他与我们分享很多关于神的事情,关于以色列国家的事。翠虹姐她就是我这里的属灵母亲,那我是她其中一个属灵孩子,她之前是这里青年事工的领袖,她时常喂养我们属灵的粮食,在一些方面引导我走对的路。如今,她大多数属灵的孩子,都去了外坡或外国升造。直等到我来了吉隆坡,我就参与全备福音华文堂的CYC团队,当然感谢神在这里又让我认识了一斑属灵同伴。虽然大专小组,每个人都从不同背景,不同家庭来到这里,但是我们有共同的目标和看见,我们一起属灵争战,一起禁食祷告,一起带领新人信主让他们在基督里成长。我们的宗旨就是扩张神的国度。同样的观念用于在个个不同教会,我们都是神的肢体,我们都扮演了不同的角色。在神的眼里,我们是合一的,我相信现在才是刚要开始。
林前12:12就如身子是一个,却有许多肢体,而且肢体虽多,仍是一个身子。基督也是这样。

As you go through life you'll see,

there is so much that we don't understand.

And the only thing we know,

is things don't always go,

the way we planned.



But you'll see everyday,

that we'll never turn away,

when it seems all your dreams come undone.

We will stand by your side,

filled with hope and filled with pride,

we are more than we are,

we are one.


[family, family, we are one]

[family, family, we are one]



if there's so much i must be,

can i still just be me,

the way i am?
can i trust in my own heart?

or am i just one part,

of some big plan?



Even those who are gone,

are with us as we go on,

your journey has only begun,

tears of pain, tears of joy,

one thing nothing can destroy,

is our pride, deep inside,

we are one.



[family, family, we are one]

[family, family, we are one]



We are one you and I,

we are like the earth and sky,

one family under the sun,

all the wisdom to lead,

all the courage that you need.

you will find when you see we are one.



[family, family, we are one]

[family, family, we are one]...

[family, family, we are one]

[family, family, we are one]...

[family, family, we are one]

[family, family, we are one]...

[family, family, we are one]

[family, family, we are one]

刚才傍晚发生的事情,我只可以说,我内心很痛,我唯一选择,就是哭泣在神的面前。我可以继续选择自怜的,但是我不想再伤害耶稣的心。我也不想让圣灵担忧。也许你说对,过去我真的就像垃圾。曾经我被人称为‘灾难’。我知道如果不回来教会,我也许会更腐败。我选择哭泣在神的面前,因为曾经听说过有位牧师说,凡是为神而流的眼泪,神会珍惜,装起来。我跟人相处也有问题,到处得罪人,你说我失败,我承认。但是,我一直在尽力的改,不断改,靠着神改。感谢神,在我低弱的时候,给我听到这首安慰我的歌 《我从来不曾怀疑过》, 透过这首歌,我知道神他不看我的过去,只是完全接纳我。我不会再松开那曾经抓紧我双手的神。要不是他的恩典,我那会在这里。我仍然处在挣扎中但是减少了,我从不敢来到台前,然后到放下一切,走到台前,因为我知道我的举动能讨天父开心,我只是要逗他开心。我从不敢跳,到我毫无保留的跳跃,只是要使神开心。
诗篇30:11 你已将我的哀哭变为跳舞,将我的麻衣脱去,给我披上喜乐。


我永远不会忘记
主你那丰富恩典
如今我在天父怀中
因为你舍下自己

你不看我的过去
只是完全接纳我
主你爱何等伟大
我的心完全融化

我亲爱救主 我心何等感谢
你单单在意 我这爱你的心
我愿一生 追求跟随我主
谦卑为你 服事着世界

我亲爱救主 我要一生敬拜
在我生命中 你是唯一的爱
毫无保留 我愿献上所有
何等渴慕 能为你而活
耶稣我主

What happen just now, really broke my heart, I can feel the pain. The only solution I chose is to cry in front of GOD. I can choose to self pity, but I don’t want to hurt JESUS’S heart again. I also don’t want to let HOLY SPIRIT worry of me. May be what u said is correct, in the past I was like a garbage, even someone called me ‘disaster’. I know if I don’t come back to church, I might be worst. I chose to cry in front of GOD, is because I heard one of the pastor said, tears only for GOD, and HE will collect and appreciate it. I know previously I have a big trouble in communicate with people, I hurt people around me, u said I failure, I admit. But, I m trying my best to change, never give up, by HIS power. Thank GOD, when I m down, the song said, GOD never look at my past, HE fully accept me. I swear I will never let go the hand which hold me tight before. Without HIS grace, I will not be here. I m still struggling, but lesser, before that I was afraid to walk in front of stage, then I decided to surrender my ego, just walk to front, because I know I will make HEAVENLY FATHER happy, my only purpose is to make HIM happy. I change from not dancing to jumping and praise HIM, just to make GOD happy.
Psalms 30:11 You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy

Standing in awe of Your grace
Setting my feet in Your ways
Entering into Your presence
To behold You face to face

God all heaven and earth
Holding me in Your embrace
Unfailing love that surround me
Oh God I stand amazed

My Jesus, My Lord
You’re the love of my life
Wherever You go
Wanna be by Your side
No longer I but Christ living in me
Serving You for all eternity

My eyes set on You
In this race that I run
No longer my ways
Let Your will be done
Make me a servant
My heart’s ever true
Clinging to the cross
I’ll follow You
I’ll follow You

Past



Once was lost but now I m found. HE gently spoke to me ‘let the past be past, prepare yourself for the coming battle’ .HE sacrificed for me, wash my sin away with HIS precious blood. After three days, HE was resurrected, HE overcome the death.HE is my precious GOD.

(Philipians 3:13-14,Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.)
前我失丧,今被寻回。他温柔对我说‘让过去的成为过去,预备自己打那美好的战’。他为我牺牲,被压迫和被辱骂,为了就是用自己的宝血洗尽我的罪孽。三天后,他从死里复活,他战胜了死亡。他是我的宝贝耶稣。
(腓立比书3:13-14,弟兄们,我不是以为自己已经得着了。我只有一件事,就是忘记背后努力面前的,向着标竿直跑,要得神在基督耶稣里从上面召我来得的奖赏。)


Present

Thank GOD brought me back to HIS army again, is HIS mercy lead me to this level. The lion of Narnia symbolize JESUS. Through HIS strength and power, we able to win this war. The spiritual war, we win souls for HIM. Every nation, every tribe, every tongue shall give glorify to GOD. Brothers and sisters in CHRIST, I had prepared myself for this battle, I will give all I have to GOD, no matter where we step we proclaim that GOD will give us the land. Our weapons for this war, are praise and worship, fasting prayer, GOD’S words, and never give up until the last breath. We are comrade-in-arms, we are under HIS army, rise up and take our position and shout for the ‘VICTORY!!!! in Desa Petaling’. In the battlefield, we are under one voice, one direction, one move, one heart, and one mind, we stand together before the evil. Everyone of us, holding sword, armor, spear, bow. We march together, we rush together, we are in the same row CYC!!
(2 Corinthians 10:3-5, For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.)
感谢神让我重新加入他的军队,是他的恩典带领我到这个阶段。纳尼雅王国的狮子意表着耶稣。透过他的力量和能力,我们能够打赢这场战。那属灵的争战,我们将为他赢得更多灵魂。万国万民万口,都要把荣耀归给神。弟兄姐妹,我已经预备好自己打那美好的战,我会把我所有的都献上给神。凡我们脚掌所踏之地,神必赐给我们。我们的兵器,就是敬拜赞美,禁食祷告,神的话,还有不放弃的精神直到最后一口气。我们是战友,我们是归在他的军队,兴起站好岗位,大声呼喊胜利在Desa Petaling!!! 在战场上,我们是一致的,有共同的思想,声音,目标,方向,心志,我们站在一起对抗黑暗势力。我们手里拿着,属灵的刀,剑,弓,盾牌,抢。我们一同迈向,一起冲刺,我们站在同一个前线CYC!!

(林后10:3-5,因为我们虽然在血气中行事,确不凭着血气争战。我们争战的兵器,本不是属血气,乃是在神面前有能力,可以攻破坚固的营垒,将各样的计谋,各样拦阻人认识神的那些自高之事,一概攻破了,又将人所有的心意夺回,使他都顺服基督。)

Future

We believe that one day, when JESUS second coming. People who win this war shall become kings and rule the kingdom with JESUS. I trust that the moment will be full of glorious and wonderful. We know what we are doing, we know where to invest, and we know the future through HIM. Each of us will be rewarded by the royal crown. Long live Kings, the nation shout!

(2 timothy 4:8, Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.)

我们相信直到那日的来到,就是耶稣第二次再来。得胜者将和耶稣一同做王,管理神所赐的土地。我相信那时将会是个充满荣耀和荣美时刻。我们清楚知道自己在做什么,我们也知道应该投资在哪里,透过神我们更知道我们的将来。相信我们将会得到赏赐,就是荣耀的冠冕。众民高喊万岁!
(提后4:8,从此以后,有公义的冠冕为我存留,就是按着公义审判的主到了那日要赐给我的。不但赐给我,也赐给凡爱慕他显现的人。)

这是我和神的隐秘处。
只有我和他而已,
躺在草地上。
一整天的沉淀,
就在此时此刻向他倾诉。
有他在我身边,
就像平静的河流一样。
他曾经在这里等待我回来,爱我,给我拥抱,安慰我,替我加油。
你是我的平安
你是我的隐秘处
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这是我的第一个文章,图画也是我亲手画的。虽然有点像小学生画的,可是我是很认真的。哈哈
浮现在脑里的画远超过自己画的。在神里面的平静,只有你亲身经历才会知道。
直到最近才发现这画正复合诗篇23:2-他使我躺卧在青草地上,领我在可安歇的水边。
其实我想用图画表达的是,夜景,平静的河畔,旷阔的草地。一整天的劳碌,就在此歇下。月亮为什么这么圆?我想也许是在中秋节画的吧。哈哈。
回想过去神在我生命,他给我的恩典实在太多了,此刻我才晓得抓紧跟他的时间。
天父啊!谢谢你,我真的好爱你,非常的感激你。迫不及待,今晚与你的约会。

About this blog

我决定把我所经历的跟大家分享。是神改变我的生命。一路走来直到今天,他从来不离开过我。这个部落格,就是要见证他给我的恩典。因为他配得。

Emmanuel

Emmanuel
This is me. i m just one of HIS children, living in HIS plan, and only for HIS purpose. I m biomedic student. I like to joke with friends around me, and i like to listen ppl testimony.